alchemizing betrayal
on "feeling it"
the 10 of swords. when i pull this card out of my deck in my daily prayers, i stop. sometimes it means someone will sneak dairy into my food, triggering an allergic reaction. other times, i’m going to get a wicked migraine, halting me in my tracks for whatever original plans i’ve had for the day.
on good days, 10 of swords can mean injections in my back to break up scar tissue, acupuncture that makes me feel new again after an especially harrowing week,
interpersonally - some of the most interesting betrayals i’ve experienced have happened under this card. the card has helped me divine who is talking shit, and when to get out of a potentially dangerous situation. the card that signifies the end, rock bottom.
when i lived in new york city, one of my favorite events was harriet’s apothecary. it was a Black led healing pop-up that would happen every couple of months. starving for spiritual community, i had gotten a reading from one of the practitioners there. one of my ancestors appeared, in a boat, under the starlight, screamed “art though the pain”.
shortly after, lockdown happened and i decided within a week that i was moving out of nyc to north carolina. in a 1 bedroom apartment, with a computer, a bed, and a frying pan, I made a zine, pain. detailing some of the most gruesome, deeply painful moments of my life, i was able to alchemize things no one should have to live through.
in my mars class, which just wrapped up recently, i’ve been thinking about the effects of betrayal on the nervous system. the hyper vigilance, a hard time trusting, feeling more comfortable in crisis than contentment, manufactured urgency in the face of a deeply oppressive system. so many organizers i know use their work to alchemize that betrayal - the betrayal of being born into a world so deeply fucked up.
so, as a continuation of loving the planets & the stars & my divination tools so deeply, i’ve made a new class. one that goes into systemic oppression, interpersonal & self betrayal. a place to have those complicated emotions be felt, and composted. to let the rotten fertilize something new. take the poison and become poisonous.
announcing: alchemizing betrayal
a 4 week class series
tuesdays
december 16th / december 23th / december 30th / january 6th
6pm PST
20 paid slots available
full price $250
Black trans tuition $175
2 scholarships available
register here: registration link
may this scorpio new moon show you what needs to die, in order to create new blossoms. prune & sever.
- astra